Last week we were reminded of how much God is in control, even in all the little things. On Tuesday we had an appointment with Spectrum to see the NICU and talk with the Neonatologist.
We knew something was wrong with our car because of all the noise it was making, but we prayed and hope it would be alright. Well right outside of Grand Rapids the noise was getting worse and the car started shaking. Dave pulled off the road and checked the tire (which he could easily shake back and forth). He knew that our wheel baring was bad and if we were going to get home we had to have it fixed. Dave drove on the sholder up a mile to the next exit while I was looking on his Iphone for a mechanic near by, but the ones we were finding were to far away for the car to make.
(Here is where God does his cool stuff…) Once we pull off the exit there is a mechanic, and they can fix our car that day! And someone from the shop was heading down to Grand Rapids and could give us a ride to the hospital! (Good timing) Not exactly how we wanted to get there but hey it works.

We met with the social worker at the hospital, who was so helpful to us. She was able to answer so many questions and put my mind at ease about all the little things we (mostly I) was worried about. We also met with one of the Neonatologist who would be caring for this guy when he gets here, again he was great and able to answer more questions and explain a lot of what would happen once he is here. We toured the NICU, and found out we can have 4 visitors at a time, which is great for those who want to meet this guy right away.

Once we were done with our appointment we were planning on having dinner with Emily and Nate and Leigh and Andy, a couple of families whose boys have Spina Bifida. So thankfully Emily was able to pick us up, and make us a wonderful dinner (which I think I need to start making because Dave really enjoyed it) and then her husband Nate was able to drive us back to our car, which was now fixed. We were so thankful for their help and hospitality.

On our way home we were talking about how God’s timing was in our whole day. Everything worked out, not the way we would have wanted but we know it was God telling us that he is in control and everything does not go the way we want it to, but the way He wants it and that “…all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Roman 8:28)

Today we got the results from the amnio, and surprise his chromosomes are normal.

He loves his sunglasses, even at night

  
Also today Atreyu was really cute, I love that he can make me smile when I have been up since 4am because I can’t sleep. He is getting so good at walking. I can’t believe he will be 1 next week and in 4 weeks his brother will more than likely be here!

Profile of the face at 31 weeks

We had another u/s today. The baby looks good and we got some good pictures. We got a good look at his face, it was pretty amazing. We were even able to see his hair!

Part of the spine,  the knob on the left is the open part of the spine.

We had the amnio today also. It’s not that I am against them, it just seemed that we didn’t need one, so why go through with the procedure? We ended up doing it, and of course this active little guy didn’t want it either and kept moving around. So it was like getting 3 amnios (it’s not so fun being a pin cushion), and we still didn’t get quite enough fluid, so the results will take longer. The Doctor let me know if I happen to deliver now he might have a few nicks on him! It is just getting ridiculous, I am just glad it is over. Since everything looks fine I don’t have to have anymore appointments with him until the C-section.

I finally was able to ask my questions. Mainly when were we expecting to deliver this guy? He was like “oh didn’t we tell you that you are scheduled Jan 4th?” uh no thanks for keeping me on the same page. So it looks like we are heading to Grand Rapids on January 3rd to see if his lungs are developed and if they are we will have the C-section on the 4th.

On Tuesday (Nov 30th) we drive down to Grand Rapids to talk with the Surgeon, Neonatologist and Social Worker. It will be nice to have a better idea of what is going on in less than 6 weeks!

I had an appointment on Monday with my midwife. The fun test to see if i have gestational diabetes, which we passed with flying colors. I did get a phone call from my midwife on Tuesday but it just turns out I am low on iron, so I need to stay on top of that.

Then Monday night I had the chance to drive down to Grand Rapids to go to the Spina Bifida coffee group with about half a dozen moms that have kids with SB. I enjoyed talking with them and hearing how encouraging everyone was. It is nice to know that other moms have been there to give some advice to other moms who are currently going through what they have already experienced. I look forward to getting to know them more. It is just one of the small blessings that come out of this craziness.

Friday we had an u/s with the high risk OB. They checked all the baby measurements and let us know the fluid in his brain is ‘moderate’ which is alright for a Spina Bifida baby. We got a good look at his spine since he is getting bigger, it is crazy to see spine, then a blur where the lesion is, then more spine, just like there was a smudge on the u/s.
After that he talked to us again about doing the amnio, which I have been putting off because I see no point in doing it. The amnio will check the chromosomes to see if there is anything else going on that might not be “viable for life” which would change the way we would treat him. We feel like there would be other physical signs if this was the case. Things like a cleft lip or hole in the heart, which we don’t see.
So I went to the appointment trying to be strong in what I was going to say and refusing the test. But wow was that not what the doctor wanted to hear. He basically told me “if I don’t do this then I can’t deliver by c-section in Grand Rapids and I might as well go to Ann Arbor. Also what do I just want to deliver here in Traverse City naturally and cause even more problems. Also that the surgeon and neonatologist would not even want to meet with you until they have the results of the amnio in their hands.”
I just felt attacked and lied to. I let him know that I just talked to some moms who just delivered at Grand Rapids who didn’t have the test so I know that Grand Rapids would allow me to deliver there with out having those results. But he held strong to that being untrue and when we see him in two weeks I have to have it done or find another hospital.

So I left, I didn’t even have enough strength or composure to ask the other questions I had, I didn’t want to talk to him anymore. I felt like I was trying to stand up for this child and was completely shot down and lied to by the doctor. Now, it is mostly my stubbornness that doesn’t want to do the amnio. I think it really got to me because this is just the start of dealing with so many doctors and so many opinions and it really is overwhelming. I felt like I did my research and made a right decision for us but was yelled at and belittled by the doctor for refusing the test. With Spina Bifida there really is no absolute right choice, and I think today I just got hit with it.

At least Atreyu knew I just wanted to go home and cuddle, so thats what we got to do, then take a nap. He is such a good cuddler. Also Dave came home with some hydrangeas (one of my favorite flowers) that a client had given him to give to me today. And we get our new refrigerator today, goodbye old 1970’s moldy fridge.
I hope in two weeks at my next appointment I wont be so emotional, it is so tiring.