It has taken me a while to get myself together to right this post, and it is still hard.
The last few days the doctors were trying to wean Esther off of ECMO. It was her second circuit and it would last long before getting clots. And she needed to adjust her body do she could survive off of ECMO. They tried to lower the flow and then completely clamp it but she only lasted a couple minutes before her heart beat dropped to 30.
The next option was to lower the flow a little each day. Each day they went down a little bit. She wasn’t doing great but she didn’t seem to get much worse. Her lungs still weren’t doing the work they needed for her to get off ECMO. Her blood gasses, which measure how acidic her blood is and ph levels amoung a few other things, were slowly getting worse.
With the flow of ECMO slowing down it was more susceptible to develope clots. There was a clot the went into the dialysis machine but it continued to run for a little bit.
Saturday things continued to get worse but Esther was hanging on. We said goodnight to Esther and tried to get some sleep. At about 2 in the morning the nurse called to say that the dialysis machine quit working but they would replace it in the morning. Then at 5:20 they called and said the ECMO circuit was crashing and Esther wasn’t doing well at all.
I ran to her room to be with her. They were giving her epi for adrenaline but we knew it wouldn’t help. Then they gave her morphine to help her be comfortable. About an hour later she passed away.
They extibated her and took off all that they could. She was a very beautiful baby.
Esther krueger
July 30, 2014 at 11:39 amThank you for sharing… I can’t imagine how difficult this is.
Julie lemons
July 30, 2014 at 11:51 amYour family is a blessing to our hearts , thank you for sharing little Esther’s journey with everyone . I can’t imagine your pain , please know that you all will be in our continued prayers!
Jill Corwin
July 30, 2014 at 11:54 amThank you for sharing. I can’t even imagine how hard this has been for you. You and Dave are amazing parents. Much love and continued prayers for you.
Karen S.
July 30, 2014 at 12:16 pmJesus will take care of sweet Esther till you meet again in Heaven. Love to you and Dave. We have great HOPE in Jesus. Love you guys.
Jackie Powell
July 30, 2014 at 1:00 pmI am praying for your family and I will always remember Esther’s strong will to live and your family’s journey. Thank you for sharing her
Dana Fall
July 30, 2014 at 2:06 pmShe WAS beautiful. My favorite picture of her is with the little pony tail. To me, she looked like Ezra, with a Noelle hair-do. 🙂
Love you all.
Courtney Norris
July 30, 2014 at 4:31 pmOh Dave & Lauren, my heart is so heavy for you both. I cannot even imagine the heartache. I want you guys to know that your faith & trust in God for the outcome of this struggle is an amazing testimony. I hope that helps in some small way. I admire your faith, and your courage to share your story with others. I will continue in prayer that you will experience the peace that passes all understanding, and that it will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus during these coming days as you are faced with getting back into the normal routine of life. Your daughter was amazing & beautiful, a precious treasure, and she now has perfect peace and rest in eternity. We love you guys!
Nikki Sacre
July 30, 2014 at 4:57 pmMy heart hurts for you as you grieve for your beautiful angel. I pray that God can help you begin to heal. He will continue to hold her in his loving arms until the time comes for you to meet again. God Bless you all.
Liz
July 30, 2014 at 5:11 pmIm am so sorry. my heart aches for you during this time of grief. I pray for your family and think of you often. All my love, Liz stewart.
Kellie
July 30, 2014 at 6:18 pmDear Hannon family, thank you for sharing your journey and the story of your sweet Esther Mae. Love, so much love comes to mind as I read how much effort was put into giving Esther a chance. We all would choose the same for our child. May you continue to draw comfort from Him whose grace and peace abounds beyond our comprehension. Her time with you was brief but eternity is forever, we will see you ‘in the morning’ beautiful Esther Mae.
Trish Pellegrino
July 30, 2014 at 8:04 pmI can’t imagine how you must feel……praying that you feel her presence as your guardian angel. God bless you and her little soul. <3
Jenni B
July 30, 2014 at 8:24 pmDave & Lauren,
You continue to be remembered in prayer! We are so sorry for your pain & grief & loss. I am so thankful that our God promises “He is close to the brokenhearted & saves those who are crushed in spirit”.
Sara Smith
July 30, 2014 at 9:52 pmLauren and Dave, you two are such a strong christian couple and we thank you both for allowing us all back home to be a part of your journey with baby Esther. She was a beautiful and strong little girl and as Madison sees it, Esther is her new angel in heaven. Our hearts break for you and your family with a loss so great. We know, as you do as well, that Esther is in a better place and that God has a plan for everything. I just pray that the healing may start and that God would use this experience with this very beautiful child in a powerful way. Thanks again for being such an example for us all and please do not be afraid to ask for anything you need.
Eunice Beck
July 30, 2014 at 11:34 pmSending all our love from here and above.
Holly
July 31, 2014 at 4:49 pmSending you so much love
Emily Alpers
July 31, 2014 at 10:23 pmShe was unbelievably beautiful. Absolutely gorgeous. And such a blessing to us all. I am so sorry for your loss and so deeply grieved for you. I mourn with you.
Sarah Holmes
August 5, 2014 at 5:07 pmLauren, Dave and family, our hearts ache with you. We wrestle with that mixed bag of joy and grief for you. Ester was beautiful. I only saw her once. But I know she carried a lot of hope and joy for you. Life is so precious. Then the twists that it offers us is unbearable without God. You are a strong family and we will be praying for greater anointing of faith, courage, and comfort from on High. Blessings.
christian davis
January 30, 2015 at 1:58 pmmy niece is kinda going tru the same thing. she has a collapsed lung and they have her on the ecmo…its really hard on my sister and she my baby niece go tru that kind of thing brakes my heart